Brené Brown is a research professor, author, and speaker whose work on vulnerability, courage, shame, and empathy has transformed the global conversation on leadership and personal development. Her ability to blend rigorous research with heartfelt storytelling has made her insights accessible and deeply impactful.

On Vulnerability

  1. "Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome." - Rising Strong. This is her core definition, reframing vulnerability as an act of courage.
  2. "Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage." - The Power of Vulnerability (TED Talk).
  3. "Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection." - The Gifts of Imperfection.
  4. "Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change." - The Power of Vulnerability (TED Talk).
  5. "You can't get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability. Embrace the suck." - Dare to Lead.
  6. "When we shut ourselves off from vulnerability, we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives." - Daring Greatly.
  7. "Numb the dark and you numb the light." - This refers to the danger of "selective numbing"—we cannot numb painful emotions like fear and shame without also numbing positive emotions like joy and love.
  8. "To be 'in the arena' is to be vulnerable." - This is a direct reference to Theodore Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena" speech, which is central to her book Daring Greatly.
  9. "The difficult thing is that vulnerability is the first thing I look for in you and the last thing I'm willing to show you." - This captures the paradox of how we perceive vulnerability in ourselves versus others.

On Courage and Daring Greatly

  1. "It is not the critic who counts... The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." - While originally from Theodore Roosevelt, this quote is the foundation of Daring Greatly and her philosophy on courage.
  2. "Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen." - Daring Greatly.
  3. "You can choose courage or you can choose comfort, but you cannot choose both." - Rising Strong.
  4. "Talk to yourself like you would talk to someone you love." - The Gifts of Imperfection. This is a key practice of self-compassion, which fuels courage.
  5. "If you are not in the arena getting your butt kicked on occasion, I'm not interested in or open to your feedback." - Dare to Lead. This sets a boundary for whose opinions matter.
  6. "Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind." - Dare to Lead. This principle argues that being direct and honest, even when it's hard, is more respectful than avoiding difficult conversations.
  7. "Choose the great adventure of being brave and afraid at the same time." - This acknowledges that courage and fear are not mutually exclusive.

On Shame

  1. "Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging." - Listening to Shame (TED Talk).
  2. "Shame cannot survive being spoken... It cannot survive empathy." - Listening to Shame (TED Talk). This is the core of shame resilience.
  3. "Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is 'I am bad.' Guilt is 'I did something bad.'" - The Gifts of Imperfection. This is a critical distinction.
  4. "The two most powerful words when we're in struggle: 'Me too.'" - This simple phrase is the sound of connection that heals shame.
  5. "If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment." - Listening to Shame (TED Talk).
  6. "Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change." - Daring Greatly.
  7. "Shame is the swampland of the soul." - The Gifts of Imperfection.

On Empathy and Connection

  1. "Empathy is feeling with people." - This is her simple, powerful definition. She often contrasts it with sympathy, which is feeling for people.
  2. "Connection is why we're here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives." - The Gifts of Imperfection.
  3. "The opposite of scarcity is not abundance. It's enough." - Daring Greatly.
  4. "Rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is connection." - This is a key learning illustrated in her famous RSA short on empathy.
  5. "Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It's simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of 'You're not alone.'" - I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't).
  6. "Empathy drives connection; sympathy drives disconnection." - This highlights the crucial difference in how we respond to others' pain.
  7. "True belonging doesn't require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are." - Braving the Wilderness.

On Leadership and Work ("Dare to Lead")

  1. "A leader is anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes and has the courage to develop that potential." - Dare to Lead. This is her inclusive definition of leadership.
  2. "Who we are is how we lead." - Dare to Lead. This emphasizes the importance of authenticity in leadership.
  3. "I'm not here to be right, I'm here to get it right." - Dare to Lead. This mantra encourages a shift from defensiveness to a collaborative, learning-oriented mindset.
  4. "The courage to be vulnerable is not about winning or losing, it's about the courage to show up when you can't predict or control the outcome." - Dare to Lead.
  5. "Leaders must either invest a reasonable amount of time attending to fears and feelings, or squander an unreasonable amount of time trying to manage ineffective and unproductive behavior." - Dare to Lead.
  6. "We fail the minute we let someone else define success for us." - Dare to Lead.
  7. "Feed the rumble." This refers to the practice of leaning into difficult conversations or "rumbles" rather than avoiding them.

On Perfectionism and Worthiness

  1. "Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us, when in fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from taking flight." - The Gifts of Imperfection.
  2. "Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life." - The Gifts of Imperfection.
  3. "Worthiness doesn't have prerequisites." - The Gifts of Imperfection.
  4. "Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness." - The Gifts of Imperfection.
  5. "You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging." - The Gifts of Imperfection.

On Rising Strong and Overcoming Failure

  1. "The middle is messy, but it's also where the magic happens." - Rising Strong. This refers to the difficult process of getting back up after a fall.
  2. "The Rising Strong Process: The Reckoning, The Rumble, and The Revolution." This three-step process is the core framework for overcoming failure.
  3. "If we are brave enough, often enough, we will fall. This is a physics of vulnerability." - Rising Strong.
  4. "The story we're making up is that we're not good enough. We have to be very careful about what stories we tell ourselves." This refers to the "shitty first draft" or the initial, often self-critical story we invent after a setback.
  5. "Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it." - Rising Strong.

On Belonging

  1. "True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness." - Braving the Wilderness.
  2. "Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don't belong. You will always find it because you've made that your mission." - Braving the Wilderness.
  3. "Belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else." - Braving the Wilderness.

For further exploration of Brené Brown's work: