Lessons from Esther Wojcicki

Esther Wojcicki, a renowned educator, journalist, and mother of three highly successful daughters, has shared a wealth of wisdom on parenting and education. Her core philosophy is encapsulated in the acronym "TRICK," which stands for Trust, Respect, Independence, Collaboration, and Kindness.

The "TRICK" Philosophy: A Foundation for Success

At the heart of Wojcicki's teaching and parenting is the "TRICK" methodology, a set of five fundamental values designed to empower children to become capable and self-responsible individuals.

On the core of her philosophy: "To make it easy to remember in all walks of life, I call these values “TRICK”: TRUST, RESPECT, INDEPENDENCE, COLLABORATION, AND KINDNESS.” [1]
The goal of TRICK: "The ultimate goal of TRICK is creating self-responsible people in a self-responsible world." [2]
TRICK applies to everyone: "TRICK applies to us too. You have to trust yourself and respect yourself." [3]
A blueprint for growth: Her books, including "How to Raise Successful People," are described as "blueprints for cultivating independent thinkers and courageous leaders." [4]

Trust: The Cornerstone of Empowerment

Wojcicki emphasizes that trust is the foundational element in raising successful and confident children.

The crisis of trust: "We are in a crisis of trust the world over... Trust has to start with us." [2]
Trust builds self-trust: "When you trust the child, they then feel good about themselves. And then they trust themselves." [5]
Reciprocal trust: "You want to be able to trust your child, and you want them to trust you." [6]
The impact of trust on effort: When students felt trusted, "they were no longer working for just a grade; they were working because they cared." [7]
Overcoming fear through trust: "Parents are afraid, and that makes our children afraid — to be who they are, to take risks, to stand up against injustice." [2]
The parent's role in building trust: "When we're confident in the choices we make as parents, we can then trust our children to take important and necessary steps toward empowerment and independence." [2]

Respect: Honoring Individuality

Respecting a child's autonomy and ideas is crucial for their development of self-worth.

Fundamental respect: "The most fundamental respect we can show our children is toward their autonomy and individuality." [2]
Respecting their dreams: "You also want to respect their ideas - no matter how crazy they are." [6]
Respect leads to self-respect: "And I'll tell you, that respect, it leads to self-respect. That's what's going on. They believe in themselves and respect themselves." [8]
Respecting their possessions and space: "You have to remember you've still got to respect them and their ideas and what they want and it's their children by the way even though they're your grandchildren." [9]
The opposite of respect: Telling kids who to be and what profession to pursue is the opposite of supporting them in their own goals. [2]

Independence: Fostering Self-Reliance

Wojcicki advocates for giving children the freedom to do things on their own to build capability and confidence.

The goal of independence: "I had this goal: I wanted my kids to be independent." [10]
Independence builds capability: "You want to be able to give them independence, to be able to do things on their own. The more they do on their own, the more capable they feel." [6]
The parent's ultimate goal: "The ultimate goal as a parent is to make yourself obsolete." [9]
Don't do for them what they can do for themselves: "The less they do for their kids the better it is for them you can teach them to do it you know don't do it for them." [4]
The danger of dependence: A dependent child will say, "I can't do it without my mom," which is what parents should avoid. [9]
Learning from the real world: "No matter the family income, I strongly suggest all teens get jobs. There is no better way to learn about how the real world works." [11]
Letting go: "Parents need to calm down. Your kids will walk. They will talk. They will learn to use the bathroom. They'll do it in their own time." [11]

Collaboration: Working Together

Collaboration teaches children to work with others, a vital skill for success in life.

Working together as a family: "Collaboration means working together as a family, in a classroom or at a workplace." [2]
Avoiding dictatorship: "You also want to collaborate with them, so they don't have to do things by themselves or be in a situation where you dictate all the time, and they just have to follow your instructions." [6]
Collaborating on rules: Wojcicki suggests including kids in the process of setting rules, such as for screen time. [12]
Being a consultant, not a driver: "It's so important for parents to set up a situation where they're kind of consultant. but they're not the driver." [9]

Kindness: The Glue that Holds it Together

Kindness is essential for creating a safe environment where children are willing to take risks and learn from mistakes.

The importance of kindness in learning: "And when they make mistakes or when there's a problem, treat them with kindness - that way they're willing to take a risk and willing to do things that might be very creative." [6]
Learning kindness through experience: "You don't learn to be kind unless you are treated with kindness." [5]
Remembering how you make people feel: "They don't remember what you said they don't remember the lesson. but they remember how you made them feel and that was that's really true for teachers especially." [9]
Kindness to those closest to us: "It is strange but true that we tend to treat those who are closest to us without the kindness and consideration that we extend to strangers." [2]
The value of gratitude: "Gratitude is invaluable, and it can be taught." [13]

On Parenting: Insights and Reflections

Wojcicki's reflections on parenting go beyond the TRICK framework, offering broader wisdom.

The importance of parenting: "THERE ARE NO NOBEL Prizes for parenting or education, but there should be. They are the two most important things we do in our society." [1][14]
Parenting as a chance for growth: "Parenting gives us perhaps the most profound opportunity to grow as human beings." [15]
Interrogating your own childhood: "If you don't act as your own therapist, and interrogate your own childhood, you won't be the best parent you can be." [1][14]
The impact of parenting on society: "How we raise and educate our children determines not only the people they become but the society we create." [1][14]
Transmitting culture: "Parenting is how culture gets transmitted to the next generation." [1][14]
The goal is not to remove challenges: "Our goal is not to take these challenges and the growth that results from them away from our children – the fatal flaw of helicopter parenting – but to help our children face these challenges and learn from them." [11]
Parenting in the digital age: "The parents are losing their free time, and the kids are losing their independence, and it's over the top today because now we have electronic devices where we can monitor our kids." [16]
When to give a cell phone: Wojcicki suggests the earliest a child should get a cell phone is 13. [17]
The power of purpose: "You're happiest – as well as most beneficial to society – when you are doing things to help others." [11]

On Education: Reforming the Classroom

As a pioneering educator, Wojcicki has strong views on how to transform the education system.

The problem with the current system: "The education system that we've had for hundreds of years it doesn't work it doesn't work." [18]
Student-directed learning: "Esther Wojcicki suggests that 20% of the time in schools should be devoted to learning to solve real problems, known as student directed learning." [19]
Failure is part of learning: "Failure is part of learning. If you do something perfectly the first time, there is no learning." [11]
The importance of iteration: "Students make a lot of mistakes...they may have to revise something 10 times, they learn that it is OK to fail, they develop grit to continue.” [12]
Creativity and innovation: "You don't get innovation by following the rules all the time, you get it by taking a risk." [8]
The role of the teacher: "Teachers affect eternity; they can never tell where their influence stops.” [1]
The issue with scripted education: Many teachers are told what to do through scripted textbooks, which stifles real-world learning. [10]
Skills for the 21st century: "We want people to think. We want people to be creative and entrepreneurial. And so what the established rules for the 20th century, the established way of teaching for the 20th century does not work for the 21st century." [16]
The power of real-world projects: When students create something real for the world to judge, they are more engaged in their work. [10]
Believing in students' dreams: "The actor James Franco was a student in my program - and he said one of the things that was most important to him is that I believed in his dreams." [6]

Learn more: