Lessons from Don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

These four principles are the cornerstone of Don Miguel Ruiz's teachings, offering a powerful code of conduct for personal freedom and a life of peace and happiness.

The Four Agreements

Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. [1][2]
Don't Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. [3][4]
Don't Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. [1][2]
Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. [3][4]

Quotes and Learnings on Self-Love and Personal Growth

A central theme in Ruiz's work is the importance of self-love as the foundation for all other relationships and for a happy life.

"You can measure the impeccability of your word by your level of self-love." [5][6]
"If you take your happiness and put it in someone's hands, sooner or later, she is going to break it." [7][8]
"You are what you believe you are. There is nothing to do except to be just what you are. You have the right to feel beautiful and enjoy it." [9]
"Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal." [2]
"The way you judge yourself is the worst judge that ever existed." [5]
"True justice is paying only once for each mistake. True injustice is paying more than once for each mistake." [5]
"When you make it your goal to create the perfect relationship between you and your body, you are learning to have a perfect relationship with anyone you are with." [10]
"Go inside and listen to your body, because your body will never lie to you. Your mind will play tricks, but the way you feel in your heart, in your guts, is the truth." [6]
"I no longer agree to treat myself with disrespect. Every time a self-critical thought comes to mind, I will forgive the Judge and follow this comment with words of praise, self-acceptance, and love." [11]
"You don't need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices." [3][6]
"Your heart is a magical kitchen. Open your heart. Open your magical kitchen, and refuse to walk around the world begging for love." [12]

Quotes and Learnings on Love and Relationships

From "The Mastery of Love," these insights guide us in forming healthier, more loving connections with others.

"You don't need to justify your love, you don't need to explain your love, you just need to practice your love. Practice creates the master." [7][8]
"If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you." [3][6]
"Real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them." [11]
"It doesn't matter how much you love someone, you are never going to be what that person wants you to be." [7][8]
"Selfishness, control, and fear will break almost any relationship. Generosity, freedom, and love will create the most beautiful relationship: an ongoing romance." [9]
"To become masters of love, we have to practice love. The art of relationship is also a whole mastery, and the only way to reach mastery is with practice." [8][12]
"Respect is one of the greatest expressions of love." [4]
"If you love me the way I am, ‘Okay, take me.’ If you don’t love me the way I am, ‘Okay, bye-bye. Find someone else.’" [6]
"And what is the right woman, the right man? Someone who wants to go in the same direction as you do, someone who is compatible with your views and your values-- emotionally, physically, economically, spiritually." [7][8]
"I will no longer allow anyone to manipulate my mind and control my life in the name of love." [6]

Quotes and Learnings on Reality and Perception

Ruiz teaches that our reality is a dream that we have the power to create and change.

"Every human is an artist. The dream of your life is to make beautiful art." [3][6]
"Life is nothing but a dream, and if we are artists, then we can create our life with Love, and our dream becomes a masterpiece of art." [8][13]
"We only see what we want to see; we only hear what we want to hear. Our belief system is just like a mirror that only shows us what we believe." [1][4]
"Humans are storytellers. It is our nature to make up stories, to interpret everything we perceive. Without awareness, we give our personal power to the story and the story writes itself. With awareness, we recover the control of our story." [11]
"The real you is still a little child who never grew up. Sometimes that little child comes out when you are having fun or playing, when you feel happy... then the real you comes out." [11]
"Heaven and hell only exist in the level of the mind. You live in hell or you live in heaven, but now." [9][10]
"Your whole life is nothing but a dream. You live in a fantasy where everything you know about yourself is only true for you. Your truth is not the truth for anyone else." [13]
"People like to say that the conflict is between good and evil. The real conflict is between truth and lies." [1][4]
"What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream." [2][4]
"You have the power to create. Your power is so strong that whatever you believe comes true." [9]

Quotes and Learnings on Freedom and Action

Achieving personal freedom is a central goal of the Toltec wisdom that Ruiz shares.

"Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive—the risk to be alive and express what we really are." [1][5]
"There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally." [3][6]
"Action is about living fully. Inaction is the way that we deny life." [5][11]
"Whatever life takes away from you, let it go. When you surrender and let go of the past, you allow yourself to be fully alive in the moment." [2][14]
"Letting go of the past means you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now." [3][14]
"The fear of being rejected becomes the fear of not being good enough. Eventually we become someone that we are not." [6]
"Forgiveness is the only way to heal." [2]
"When someone can touch a wound and it no longer hurts you then you know you have truly forgiven." [6]
"Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want." [1][5]
"The same way that you are the main character of your story, you are only a secondary character in everybody else's story." [4]

Quotes and Learnings on Awareness and Truth

Ruiz emphasizes the importance of awareness in recognizing the lies we tell ourselves and others.

"The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human; it is the tool of magic." [5]
"Wherever you go you will find people lying to you, and as your awareness grows, you will notice that you also lie to yourself." [14][15]
"Do not expect other people to tell the truth because they also lie to themselves." [5]
"We search for love outside ourselves when love is all around us. Love is everywhere, but we don't have the eyes to see." [12][14]
"Only you can change the world that you create, and by changing your world, the world will change… and that is the truth." [11]

Sources and Further Reading:

The majority of these quotes and teachings are derived from Don Miguel Ruiz's most prominent books. For further exploration, you can refer to the following sources:

"The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom" by Don Miguel Ruiz. [16][17] This book is the primary source for the four core principles and many related teachings.
"The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship" by Don Miguel Ruiz. [16][17] This book is the main source for quotes and learnings on love, relationships, and self-love.
Don Miguel Ruiz's Official Website: https://www.miguelruiz.com/ [18]
Goodreads: Features extensive lists of quotes from his books. [3][7]
Audible and other book retailers: Provide summaries and key takeaways from his works. [5][17]

Learn more: