Russ Harris, a physician turned psychotherapist and a leading figure in the world of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), is renowned for his ability to translate complex psychological concepts into simple, practical, and accessible strategies. Through bestselling books like "The Happiness Trap" and "ACT Made Simple," he has helped millions understand that a rich, full life is not about eliminating pain but about changing one's relationship with it.
On the "Happiness Trap"
- "So here is the happiness trap in a nutshell: to find happiness, we try to avoid or get rid of bad feelings, but the harder we try, the more bad feelings we create." [1][2]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://thehappinesstrap.com/
- "The more we try to avoid the basic reality that all human life involves pain, the more we are likely to struggle with that pain when it arises, thereby creating even more suffering." [3]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3285402-the-happiness-trap-how-to-stop-struggling-and-start-living
- "Myth 1: Happiness Is the Natural State for All Human Beings." [4]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://quotefancy.com/russ-harris-quotes
- "If you're not happy, you're defective." [5] Harris identifies this as a destructive myth that society promotes.
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://www.bookey.app/book/the-happiness-trap/quote
- "To create a better life, we must get rid of negative feelings." [5] This is another core myth that Harris dismantles, explaining that this very effort is what traps us.
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://www.bookey.app/book/the-happiness-trap/quote
- "Any search for a 'pain-free existence' is doomed to failure." [3]
- Source: The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1379029.Russ_Harris
On Thoughts and Defusion
- "In ACT, our main interest in a thought is not whether it's true or false, but whether it's helpful; that is, if we pay attention to this thought, will it help us create the life we want?" [1][2]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://www.shortform.com/blog/the-happiness-trap-quotes/
- "The mind loves telling stories; in fact, it never stops." [2][3]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3285402-the-happiness-trap-how-to-stop-struggling-and-start-living
- "Defusion means learning to 'step back' and separate or detach from our thoughts, images, and memories." [6]
- Source: ACT Made Simple: An Easy-to-Read Primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
- Link: https://raulbarraltamayo.wordpress.com/2022/08/18/act-made-simple-by-russ-harris/
- "You don't have to believe every thought you have." [7]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://aimamedia.org/newsdetails.aspx?nid=328005
- Learning: One simple way to defuse from a thought is to thank your mind for it. Saying, "Thanks, mind!" acknowledges the thought without getting entangled in it. [5]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://www.bookey.app/book/the-happiness-trap/quote
- "The more you try to control your thoughts, the more they control you." [7]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://aimamedia.org/newsdetails.aspx?nid=328005
- "So by all means, have your beliefs – but hold them lightly. Keep in mind that all beliefs are stories, whether or not they're 'true'." [4]
- Source: The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt
- Link: https://quotefancy.com/russ-harris-quotes
On Feelings and Acceptance
- "Basically, expansion means making room for our feelings. If we give unpleasant feelings enough space, they no longer stretch us or strain us." [1][2]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://www.shortform.com/blog/the-happiness-trap-quotes/
- "Stop trying to control how you feel, and instead take control of what you do." [3][4]
- Source: The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1379029.Russ_Harris
- "Having negative thoughts and feelings means I'm a normal human being." [2][3]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3285402-the-happiness-trap-how-to-stop-struggling-and-start-living
- "If you're not willing to have it, you will." [7] This quote, originally from Steven C. Hayes, is frequently used by Harris to explain that unwillingness to feel an emotion guarantees you will be stuck with it.
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://aimamedia.org/newsdetails.aspx?nid=328005
- "Acceptance means opening up and making room for unwanted private experiences... Instead of fighting them... we allow them to freely flow through us." [6]
- Source: ACT Made Simple: An Easy-to-Read Primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
- Link: https://raulbarraltamayo.wordpress.com/2022/08/18/act-made-simple-by-russ-harris/
- Learning: The Struggle Switch. Harris uses this metaphor to explain experiential avoidance. When the "struggle switch" is on, we fight against our pain, amplifying it. When we turn it off, the pain is still there, but the struggle is gone. [8]
- Source: The Happiness Trap (Video Resources)
- Link: https://thehappinesstrap.com/free-resources/
- Learning: The "Name" Practice. To accept feelings, you can NAME them: Notice it, Acknowledge it, Make room for it, Expand awareness. [9]
- Source: Worksheet from kayatoastforthesoul.com
- Link: https://www.kayatoastforthesoul.com/post/the-name-practice
On Values and Committed Action
- "A rich and meaningful life is created through taking action. But not just any action. It happens through effective action, guided by and motivated by your values." [2][5]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3285402-the-happiness-trap-how-to-stop-struggling-and-start-living
- "True success is living by your values, not by chasing happiness." [7]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://aimamedia.org/newsdetails.aspx?nid=328005
- "Commitment isn't about being perfect... Commitment means that when you (inevitably) stumble or get off track, you pick yourself up, find your bearings, and carry on in the direction you want to go." [3]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1379029.Russ_Harris
- "The feeling of love comes and goes on a whim; you can't control it. But the action of love is something you can do, regardless of how you are feeling." [3]
- Source: ACT with Love
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1379029.Russ_Harris
- "Values are desired qualities of ongoing action. In other words, they describe how we want to behave on an ongoing basis." [10]
- Source: ACT Made Simple: An Easy-to-Read Primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
- Link: https://www.actmindfully.com.au/upimages/ACT_Made_Simple_Introduction_and_first_two_chapters.pdf
- "A value is a direction we desire to keep moving in, an ongoing process that never reaches an end." [4]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://quotefancy.com/russ-harris-quotes
- Learning: Values vs. Goals. Harris clarifies that values are like a compass pointing a direction (e.g., being loving), while goals are the destinations you reach along the way (e.g., getting married). You can always live your values, even if you don't achieve a specific goal. [11][12]
- Source: ACT With Love / Psychwire Resources
- Link: https://psychwire.com/free-resources/harris
- "Hold your values lightly, but pursue them vigorously." [3]
- Source: The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1379029.Russ_Harris
- "Don't obsess about the outcome; get passionate about the process." [3]
- Source: The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1379029.Russ_Harris
On Confidence and Fear
- "Rule 1: The actions of confidence come first; the feelings of confidence come later." [3][4]
- Source: The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1379029.Russ_Harris
- "Genuine confidence is not the absence of fear; it is a transformed relationship with fear." [3]
- Source: The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1379029.Russ_Harris
- "Don't fight your fear: allow it, befriend it, and channel it." [3]
- Source: The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1379029.Russ_Harris
- "Fear is not your enemy. It is a powerful source of energy that can be harnessed and used for your benefit." [3]
- Source: The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1379029.Russ_Harris
- "Failure hurts—but if we're willing to learn, it's a wonderful teacher." [3]
- Source: The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1379029.Russ_Harris
On Psychological Flexibility and ACT Principles
- "Psychological flexibility is the ability to adapt to a situation with awareness, openness, and focus and to take effective action, guided by your values." [3][4]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://quotefancy.com/russ-harris-quotes
- Learning: The ACT Acronym. Harris simplifies the core of ACT into a simple acronym: Accept your thoughts and feelings, Connect with your values, and Take effective action. [2]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3285402-the-happiness-trap-how-to-stop-struggling-and-start-living
- Learning: The Choice Point. A key tool developed by Harris, the Choice Point is a simple map that helps clients see the choice between "away moves" (actions that move you away from the life you want) and "toward moves" (actions that move you toward your values), especially when hooked by difficult thoughts and feelings. [12][13]
- Source: ACT Made Simple / Psychwire Resources
- Link: https://psychwire.com/free-resources/harris
- "Self-acceptance trumps self-esteem." [3]
- Source: The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1379029.Russ_Harris
- Learning: Self-Compassion. Harris emphasizes that self-compassion is not self-pity. It involves acknowledging your own pain and responding with genuine kindness, which is a core part of ACT. [11]
- Source: ACT with Love / YouTube Interview
- Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZSj8Zsym_o
- Learning: The Sushi Train Metaphor. Thoughts are like dishes on a sushi train. They just keep coming. You don't have to pick up every one. You can just let them pass by. [12]
- Source: Psychwire Resources
- Link: https://psychwire.com/free-resources/harris
- Learning: The "Hands as Thoughts" Metaphor. This exercise demonstrates how being fused with our thoughts (holding our hands over our face) obscures our view of the world and prevents us from taking action. Defusion (lowering our hands to our lap) allows us to see and engage with life, even while the thoughts are still present. [14]
- Source: YouTube Interview with Humour Australia
- Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QS13jRcaufs
- "The key to peak performance is total engagement in the task." [3]
- Source: The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/1379029.Russ_Harris
- Learning: The ACE Formula. A simple mindfulness practice: Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, Connect with your body, and Engage in what you're doing. [4]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://quotefancy.com/russ-harris-quotes
- Learning: Overcoming FEAR. An acronym for the barriers to valued action: Fusion with unhelpful thoughts, Excessive goals, Avoidance of discomfort, and Remoteness from values. [15]
- Source: Worksheets from ACT Books by Russ Harris
- Link: https://www.actmindfully.com.au/upimages/2016_Complete_Worksheets_for_Russ_Harris_ACT_Books.pdf
- "The things we generally value most in life bring with them a whole range of feelings, both pleasant and unpleasant." [2][3]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3285402-the-happiness-trap-how-to-stop-struggling-and-start-living
- "At its core, ACT is a behavioral therapy: it's about taking action." [6]
- Source: ACT Made Simple: An Easy-to-Read Primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
- Link: https://raulbarraltamayo.wordpress.com/2022/08/18/act-made-simple-by-russ-harris/
- Learning: Workability. The central question in ACT is not "Is this true?" or "Is this good?" but "Is what I'm doing working to give me a rich, full, and meaningful life?" [4]
- Source: ACT Made Simple: An Easy-to-Read Primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
- Link: https://quotefancy.com/russ-harris-quotes
- "Mindfulness is an awareness process, not a thinking process." [10]
- Source: ACT Made Simple: An Easy-to-Read Primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
- Link: https://www.actmindfully.com.au/upimages/ACT_Made_Simple_Introduction_and_first_two_chapters.pdf
- "Living a rich and meaningful life comes from doing what matters, not from feeling good." [7]
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://aimamedia.org/newsdetails.aspx?nid=328005
- "Develop the courage to solve those problems that can be solved, the serenity to accept those problems that can't be solved, and the wisdom to know the difference." [4] Harris adapts this classic prayer to fit the core message of ACT.
- Source: The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
- Link: https://quotefancy.com/russ-harris-quotes
Learn more:
- The Happiness Trap: Quotes by Russ Harris - Shortform Books
- The Happiness Trap Quotes by Russ Harris - Goodreads
- Quotes by Russ Harris (Author of The Happiness Trap) - Goodreads
- Top 60 Russ Harris Quotes (2025 Update) - QuoteFancy
- Best Quotes Of The Happiness Trap With Page Numbers By Russ Harris - Bookey
- ACT made simple by Russ Harris | Raul Barral Tamayo's Blog - WordPress.com
- The Book Quotes-- The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living
- Free Resources from Dr. Russ Harris - The Happiness Trap
- WORKSHEET: The "NAME" practice.
- ACT Made Simple
- Evidence-Based S3E11: ACT and Relationships with Russ Harris - YouTube
- ACT Free Resources with Russ Harris | Psychwire
- ACT Made Simple: A Quick Start Guide To ACT Basics and Beyond | Association for Contextual Behavioral Science
- Dr Russ Harris introduces ACT... - YouTube
- The Complete Set of Client Handouts and Worksheets from ACT books by Russ Harris